Books We Recommend

Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence can be considered in two broad categories:
intrapersonal, knowledge of the self, and interpersonal, knowledge of
how to understand and get along with others.

Intrapersonal Intelligence

Emotional Alchemy, Tara Bennett Goleman
This book clearly explains some concepts from cognitive-behavioral
psychology: the principal idea is that all of us have parts of our
personalities that serve to protect us in difficult emotional
situations, and that using mindful awareness allows us some capacity
to change established patterns.
Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman
Brain science and psychological concepts written in an accessible and
pragmatic manner.
Reinventing Your Life, Jeffrey Young
Cognitive therapy principles, written by teacher and mentor of Tara
Goleman, above.
Changing For Good, James Prochaska
This author has devoted his academic career to investigating the
technology of how we change habits. Writing style is a bit dry but the
concepts are very sound and worthwhile.

Mindfulness

Pema Chodron is an American woman who became a Tibetan Buddhist nun.
She has a great way of explaining Eastern philosophy for American
people, and has an endearing way of admitting her own foibles as a
teaching tool. She has many books and audiotapes available, including:
Start Where You Are
When Things Fall Apart
From Fear to Fearlessness
Comfortable with Uncertainty
Charlotte Davis Kasl is a psychologist who has written a series of
books integrating her spiritual and clinical ideas. She is influenced
by Quaker and Buddhist beliefs and has a warm, personal writing style.
Her work includes:
If the Buddha Got Stuck
If the Buddha Dated
If the Buddha Married
Women, Sex & Addiction

Interpersonal Intelligence

John Gottman is the foremost research psychologist studying marital
relationships. His book is full of ideas for improving couple
relationships in everyday ways. He has a detailed step by step plan
for strengthening affection and connection that many people find
useful and enjoyable. His other books are about the building blocks of
satisfying relationships in other arenas of life and are fascinating,
full of both common sense and unexpected insights. Seven Principles
for Making Marriage Work
The Relationship Cure
Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child
Pat Love, The Truth About Love
Hot Monogamy
No kidding, this is her real name, and these books hold a multitude of
surprising revelations about the nature of our bodies and minds when
we fall in love, and when we want to make love last.
Michelle Weiner-Davis, Divorce Busting
The Sex-Starved Marriage
This prolific author specializes in behavior change and is part of the
brief therapy movement. Her ideas can be simplistic, but include some
powerful ways to make positive relationship changes in a short time.

Infidelity/Compulsive Sexuality

NOT Just Friends, Shirley Glass
After the Affair, Janis Abrams Spring
Both of these are well- researched books on infidelity, with exercises
for each partner to read and write about, in order to understand and
live through the intense pain caused by a breach of trust in an
intimate relationship.
Patrick Carnes has studied compulsive sexual behavior and developed a
compassionate and realistic approach to help sexual addicts stop
harming themselves and those they love:
Dont Call It Love
Out of the Shadows
Sexual Anorexia

Sexuality

Good educational information on satisfying sex for men and women:
Bernie Zilbergeld, The New Male Sexuality: The Truth About Men, Sex
and Pleasure
Better Than Ever: Love and Sex at Midlife
Lonnie Barbach, For Yourself
For Each Other
Going the Distance
These books are more than how-to guides; they all embrace a positive
and joyful view of sexuality, taking human psychological complexity
and quirkiness into account:
The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex, Cathy Winks
The Soul Of Sex, Thomas Moore
The Erotic Mind, Jack Morin
Talk Dirty to Me, Sallie Tisdale
Exhibitionism for the Shy, Carol Queen
The Clitoral Truth, Rebecca Chalker

New Parents/ Postpartum Depression

Your Baby & Child, Penelope Leach
The remarkable number of books on rearing children seems to keep
multiplying, but I refer to this one year after year for her kind,
thorough, and reassuring perspective.
Sexy Mamas, Cathy Winks & Anne Semans
Encouragement and realistic strategies for maintaining physical
intimacy and sensuality after parenthood.
The following postpartum depression books are all easy reading, as
needed by exhausted new parents, and provide simple wisdom for getting
through what can be a truly grueling experience:
This Isnt What I Expected: Overcoming Postpartum Depression, Karen
Kleiman & Valerie Raskin
Beyond the Blues, Shosana Bennett
The Postpartum Husband: Practical Solutions, Karen Kleiman

Depth Psychology

Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Women Who Run with the Wolves
Timeless and universal wisdom; this book is not just for women, but
gives us all a reminder of the sweet, rich and powerful forces of
emotion and intuition that hum beneath our conscious minds. Estes is a
storyteller as well as a psychologist, and has made many recordings of
world stories spilling over with beautiful, moving imagery.
Thomas Moore, Original Self
The Care of the Soul
Soul Mates
Dark Nights of the Soul: A Guide to Finding Your Way Through Lifes
Ordeals
Moore is another Jungian thinker whose knowledge of classical
literature allows him to view modern life through an ancient lens.

Emotional Eating

Geneen Roth, When Food is Love
When You Eat at the Refrigerator, Pull Up a Chair
Breaking Free from Emotional Eating,
Geneen has been a pioneer in applying mindful awareness to the act of
eating. She writes beautifully about nourishing ourselves both
emotionally and nutritionally.
Overcoming Overeating, Jane Hirschmann & Carol Munter
These authors provide exercises and feminist reflection on ways we can
re-think body image and cultural attitudes to womens appearance.